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Potential

I'm I powerful enough to control things that happen in my life through my fantasies? It should be possible, I think I am, I should be able to, but how, when there is so much noise in my thoughts, which is hard to comprehend? I'm unsettled, not at ease. I'm haunted and it wont let go of my mind, the only thing I have that helps generate my hopes, my dreams.
Sometimes a simple thought gets to my brain, I want so badly for it to happen, it does and its all a déjà vu, sometimes it doesn't, and I do not know if I'm dreaming or not. I am alive but it feels like I'm hallucinating, even when I'm awake.
Images that burst out in my head are unclear, my vision seems vague, and I am unable to tell the difference between what's real and what's not. I look into another human being, I stare into those eyes, and I see the stars. Then I realize, that I am a lost soul, trying to express myself, but my voice wont show, I cannot say a word, its a nightmare. Then I wake from my sleep. What time is it, am I late to make my dreams come true, to fulfill my plans for the day?
But I'm alone, in a dark room sited in a corner, all I can hear is the clock, tik tok, the seconds go, turning into minutes, hours, days, weeks, years. This time its real, I am not in a dream. All my concentration is stolen by the two clocks hanging on these walls, crickets outside in the night, you cannot hear them through the day, but right now all I can think about is what do I do during the day, what is my destiny, when does the cricket inside me roar, Am I active in the day or in the night? What has the system put me through? I feel more confused, I need light when its at night and I crave darkness during the day. So where is the switch, to light up my world during the night?
It just crossed my mind that I know my potential, I know where I belong, I hide myself with the crickets during the day, and come out in the silent night, its when my light glows, I can finally see and control, whatever I long for. I am a rebel, with the wolves is where I belong.

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